We’re not talking suicide or giving up, but somedays you do think you are dying. The truth is, you can’t really ever be sure that you are not. When pain is overwhelming, you haven’t slept and the brain is foggy, you wonder...
Is this how a body feels when its dying?
With loads of time on your hands and too many thoughts in your head you have to wonder if the pain is telling you that your body is just too tired to go forward. If that was the the truth, one might just decide to relax and let the process of passing take shape with harmony, but how do you know?
There are not a lot of people to talk to when you think you might be dying. First of all, most people don’t really understand chronic pain. They may not even believe you are sick. Secondly, you might find yourself invited to occupy a 72-hour holding cell if you talk to the wrong people and are misunderstood. Friends listen, but thinking you are just depressed, they can’t relate.
It is usually not depression that can bring a chronically painful body to think about dying. In fact, it’s probably just the opposite. Only the most courageous can sit with those thoughts and wonder what do do about them. These are difficult moments.
Chronic pain people learn to make peace with the inevitable. They learn to live life more completely. They limit things that are meaningless and harmful and appreciate every pain-free moment with enthusiasm. They learn to make lemonade, from even the most sour of lemons.
In the end, they may be the lucky ones.
There are not a lot of people to talk to when you think you might be dying. First of all, most people don’t really understand chronic pain. They may not even believe you are sick. Secondly, you might find yourself invited to occupy a 72-hour holding cell if you talk to the wrong people and are misunderstood. Friends listen, but thinking you are just depressed, they can’t relate.
It is usually not depression that can bring a chronically painful body to think about dying. In fact, it’s probably just the opposite. Only the most courageous can sit with those thoughts and wonder what do do about them. These are difficult moments.
Chronic pain people learn to make peace with the inevitable. They learn to live life more completely. They limit things that are meaningless and harmful and appreciate every pain-free moment with enthusiasm. They learn to make lemonade, from even the most sour of lemons.
In the end, they may be the lucky ones.